I can’t guarantee that everyone will like me but I do try my best lol. Anyway, in furtherance of my story, it’s no better. I just discovered that the sheriff has now been here 15 times. They get pissed off with me because I always invite them in. The last time my dayshift deputy turned up he said please dont invite me in, it takes me 5 minutes to deal with her and then you make me miss my teabreak lmao. Please understand that I’m English when I say I smoke fags, it’s not what you think. Anyway, it’s 10.30pm, just before Xmas when me and the missus opened the garage to go out and do that naughty thing I just mentioned. Lo and behold there’s a Sheriff’s car on the end of my driveway. I tapped on the window, asked if there’s a problem, he said noisy TV in the garage at 100. I said you’ve come to the right place then mate, I’m the culprit. I said look to your right, can you see the tv, yep. Can you hear it with the window down, nope. I said, you new to this beat, yep. I said you’ve got a lot to learn mate, have a word with deputy Trexler, dont interfere with his teabreak though, he’s a bit sensitive in that department. Then I saw another sheriff’s car. I said where’s the other deputy then, oh he got called to the house the other side. I said that proves she’s female then, what ?? I said 2 deputies, 2 different houses, that’s multi-tasking, men can’t do that !!! I took the camera out of the bushes because we were pissed off with seeing her ugly mug on our computer. My scars are healing good. Bought another one cheap on Amazon. Pretty cool, all it sees is Cyril the Squirrel and his nuts. Last week neighbor called the sheriff, accused me of peeping through her bedroom window. Mr Blink said, oh no he didn’t. I said, impossible, there’s no sign of vomit on her wall and anyway, I have an unwritten rule to only peep at pretty young things, never fugly old hags in shitholes. Anyway, all for now. Keep your eye out for the next episode. PS. Always wear mirror sunglasses on the beach, its saves a hell of a lot of aggro from the missus !!! Happy Easter to all. I hear we’ve only got 12 more in stock and then we’re all done for !!!